.png)
Letting Go of the Past: 6 Steps Answering the Question of How I Find Myself Again
Part 1:
This is day 14, and I have yet to leave my home. Just the thought of stepping outside gets my heart racing, my palms sweaty, and my mind wandering. Anxiousness, doubt, and confusion are leading my life right now. Just 14 days ago, my good life came crashing down. I thought I was living my life with the past in the past, mainly since I have attended therapy several times before. Listening and continually nodding, my therapist said, "So, what I hear is..." or "How does that make you feel?" Each session, I left feeling better and ready to take on the rest of the week, only to realize a few hours later that I did not know how to reach the next step in my journey so I could find myself again—lying in bed overwhelmed due to PTSD(post-traumatic stress disorder) and severe anxiety. I craved help. I was like the 53% of people who believed that therapy is a sign of strength and not a weakness despite the 47% who believe that therapy is a sign of weakness." (Robinson, 47% of Americans believe seeking therapy is a sign of weakness)
I was tired of not having the energy to eat, take showers, or spend time outside of my bed. The need to have some socialization was nonexistent, yet at the same time, it was existent. In reality, I want to be myself again. I tried to laugh, watch movies, and cook for my family, but the sadness, loneliness, and overbearing feeling of being unwanted had taken over. All my past traumas, like the sexual assault and physical, mental, verbal, and medical abuse, had come flooding back in all at once, and it shut my body and mind down. I was at the bottom and had no way back up.
The exhaustion from no sleep had also crept in, and despite all the things I tried, I would wake up from my sleep, crying or yelling from the nightmare I just had, which would sometimes take a few seconds. Unfortunately, I still had to deal with the inner pain, suffering, doubt, and confusion that I had while awake. There was no way out from this nightmare of a life. I was exhausted and just wanted to go back to 15 days ago.
The feeling of unwantedness had taken over my mind. Still, gratefully, I was about to embark on an empowering transformational journey to self-discovery, where I would find myself again and become unstoppable.
It is life-changing to discover what it means to reclaim your identity and foster a life filled with love, growth, and positivity. It begins with us delving into searching within ourselves to gain a positive mindset, become our authentic selves, cultivate healthy relationships, embrace independence, and inspire growth through continuous learning. Each step serves as a beacon of empowerment and transformation.
It is designed for those seeking to break free from self-doubt, fear of abandonment, loneliness, and confusion to embrace clarity, self-worth, and self-love. This narrative invites you to find yourself again, with confidence and resilience leading the way.
Discover how to rebuild yourself from trauma and toxic relationships as we navigate through the pain and limitations with empowerment woven in with motivational words and uplifting guidance. During this journey, women and men will find the inner strength, personal growth, and authenticity needed to improve our lives. Feel free to stop and schedule your Let's Connect Call. I dare you to unveil the powerful, resilient, and authentic you.
Introduction: Welcome to Your Journey
Embracing Your Personal Transformation
Embracing personal transformation is a courageous step toward self-healing and growth. It's about looking inward and acknowledging that rediscovering oneself may require change, openness, and dedication. Transformation often begins with accepting past experiences, no matter how difficult they have shaped us, but remember they do not define our future.
Personal Transformation is a commitment to self-reflection, moving forward, setting intentions for who you want to become, and taking actionable steps toward those goals. By engaging in this process, you assert that your past will not hold you captive and that you are ready to craft a life that reflects your true essence and potential. This journey is about nurturing your well-being, learning to trust yourself again, and opening up to new possibilities. It's a powerful declaration that you are ready to find yourself again and live a life that is authentically yours.
The Uplifting Power of Self-Discovery
Self-discovery is a transformative process that empowers you to understand your true self beyond the roles and expectations imposed by others. It's a deep dive into your inner world, exploring your passions, fears, strengths, and limitations. This journey of honesty and self-discovery can elevate your sense of purpose and help you align your life with your deepest values. It's about peeling back the layers of who you think you should be to reveal who you truly are. As you become more in tune with your inner self, your decisions, relationships, and life path reflect your authentic identity. This alignment creates a sense of fulfillment and joy that is both uplifting and life-affirming. The power of self-discovery lies in its ability to transform how you see yourself and engage with the world around you.
Step 1: A Look Within - Self Reflection
Self-reflection is a critical first step in the journey of self-discovery and personal transformation. It involves taking a step back to assess your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors objectively. This process can help you understand the 'why' behind your actions and how past experiences influence them. It's about acknowledging your history, recognizing patterns that may no longer serve you, and gaining clarity on your current state of being.
Through self-reflection, you create the space to ask yourself important questions:
Who am I?
What are my beliefs and values?
How do my past experiences impact my present?
Why am I stuck?
Where do I want to be in 6 months?
This self-reflection step is designed to guide you through the process of deep inner awareness. By looking within yourself, you will uncover insights that are essential to unlocking the answer to how to find myself again. Self-reflection is a time to listen to your inner voice, be vulnerable with yourself, and begin charting a path forward that is true to you.
Acknowledging Your Past: Understanding Trauma
Identifying the Sources of Your Trauma
It's crucial to identify the sources of your trauma so that you can move forward and heal. Trauma can stem from a single event or a series of events that leave a lasting impact on your emotional and psychological well-being. Your limitations from trauma might originate from childhood experiences, such as neglect or abuse, an experience that you witnessed, or being part of more recent events, like an accident, the loss of a loved one, or a relationship ending. Understanding trauma involves recognizing these events and acknowledging their effects on your life. It's important not to minimize these experiences or their significance.
By identifying the sources of your trauma, you can begin to understand the patterns of behavior and the thoughts that establish it. This understanding is the foundation for learning how to find myself again, as it allows for targeted self-healing and the development of coping strategies to overcome the lingering effects of traumatic experiences.
Understanding the Effects of Trauma
The effects of trauma can be far-reaching and often manifest in both physical and psychological ways. It's common for individuals who have experienced trauma to encounter anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). These conditions can lead to sleep disturbances, mood swings, and a pervasive sense of fear or sadness. It can develop a fear of abandonment, fear of loneliness, and caretaker tendencies that go so far that we end up being enablers of abuse, manipulation, and toxicity.
Trauma can also affect your self-esteem, relationships, and the ability to trust others. Physically, it may show up as chronic pain, fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome, migraines, high blood pressure, or other stress-related health issues. It's important to recognize these effects as responses to trauma rather than personal failings. By understanding how trauma impacts you, you can address these issues with compassion and develop a personalized recovery plan to answer how to find yourself again, as it lays the groundwork for healing and rebuilding a sense of safety and stability in your life.
Embracing Your Journey
Acknowledging Your Strength and Resilience
Acknowledging your strength and resilience is vital to the healing process in the face of trauma and adversity. Recognizing that you have survived your past experiences is a testament to your inner power. Giving yourself credit for your resilience in tough times is essential, as this recognition can be incredibly empowering. Each challenge you've faced has equipped you with unique insights and the ability to persevere.
Reflecting on these experiences, you can identify the moments you demonstrated courage and tenacity. Celebrating these victories, no matter how small they seem, reinforces your ability to overcome future obstacles. This acknowledgment lays a foundation for self-confidence and a belief in your capacity to heal and grow. It's a crucial step in the journey of finding myself again, as it reminds you of your potential to thrive despite past difficulties.
Recognizing Your Growth Amidst Adversities
Adversity is an inevitable part of life, but it's also a powerful catalyst for personal growth. Recognizing your growth amidst adversities involves a conscious reflection on how you've evolved through your experiences. It's about seeing the ways you've become more empathetic, resilient, or understanding as a result of the challenges you've faced. This growth often occurs in subtle ways – perhaps you've developed stronger coping mechanisms, improved problem-solving skills, or a deeper appreciation for the simple joys of life. Each adversity carries with it valuable lessons that contribute to your personal development. By acknowledging this growth, you reinforce the positive aspects of your journey and encourage further self-discovery. It's an essential component of the process of how to find myself again, providing the assurance that you are continually evolving and that each step forward, no matter how small, is a step towards a more authentic self.
Step 2: You Don't Belong Here - Changing Mindset
Changing your mindset is a pivotal part of the journey to self-improvement and empowerment. This step addresses the negative thought patterns that can hold you back from realizing your full potential. It's about challenging the belief that you don't belong or aren't good enough and replacing it with a conviction in your worth and abilities. A negative mindset can block healing and growth, creating self-doubt and fear that stifle progress.
To change this, you must first become aware of your inner talk and its impact on your mood and behavior. Then, through mindfulness and positive affirmations, you can shift your thoughts from self-criticism to self-support. This transformation in thinking gets you closer to finding yourself again. It isn't easy, but you can cultivate a mindset supporting your journey towards a fulfilled and authentic life with commitment and patience.
Shifting to a Positive, Growth-oriented Mindset
Techniques for Maintaining a Positive Outlook
Maintaining a positive outlook can significantly influence your personal growth and happiness journey. To do this, begin by practicing gratitude. Keep a journal where you can regularly record things you're thankful for, no matter how small. I sometimes record via video or audio to listen to my words and tones and, via video, see my body language. Gratitude helps shift focus from negative to positive aspects of your life. Another technique is to surround yourself with positivity, whether that means people who uplift you, environments that comfort you, or activities that bring you joy. Mindfulness and meditation can also play a significant role in fostering positivity.
By bringing your attention to the present moment, you can distance yourself from past regrets and future worries. Setting achievable goals and celebrating small victories can bolster your confidence and encourage a growth mindset. Remember, a positive outlook isn't about ignoring life's challenges but facing them with hope and a positive growth attitude.
Embracing a Growth Mindset
Embracing a growth mindset means believing one can develop one's abilities and intelligence through dedication and hard work. It's about viewing challenges as opportunities rather than obstacles and failures as lessons rather than setbacks.
To cultivate a growth mindset:
Start by acknowledging and embracing imperfections.
Recognize that you're a work in progress and that each step, even the missteps, is part of the learning process.
Shift the focus from proving yourself to improving yourself.
This perspective encourages resilience and persistence in the face of difficulties.
Encourage yourself to try new things and step out of your comfort zone, as this is where growth happens. Celebrate effort, not just success, and praise yourself for your progress. By adopting a growth mindset, you'll find a greater sense of accomplishment and a clearer path to finding who you are.
This mindset is not about achieving perfection but about moving forward, learning, and evolving as you go.
Letting Go of Damaging Thought Patterns
Identifying Damaging Behaviors and Thought Patterns
The path to self-improvement involves recognizing the damaging behaviors and thought patterns that undermine your well-being. These can include self-criticism, negative attitudes, and catastrophic thinking that anticipates the worst outcomes. Often, these patterns are ingrained and automatic, making them challenging to detect and address.
To identify these destructive habits:
Start by reflecting on your reactions to stressful situations.
Notice when you might be magnifying negatives or dismissing positives.
Pay attention to any tendencies to overgeneralize from one adverse event to your whole life.
Listen closely to your inner dialogue and be aware of when you might be labeling yourself unjustly.
It's also helpful to seek feedback from trusted friends, such as a life coach or a therapist, who can offer an outside perspective on your behavior patterns. Once identified, these detrimental thoughts and behaviors can be actively challenged and replaced with more constructive responses, marking an important step in the journey to finding myself again.
Strategies for Letting Go
Letting go of damaging thought patterns is liberating for mental health and emotional well-being. One effective strategy is rewiring our minds, which involves challenging and changing negative thoughts and triggers. When you engage in negative self-talk, stop and ask whether there's evidence to support those thoughts. Then, consciously reframe those thoughts in a more positive or realistic light. Of course, this goes way more profound, and we can explore this further in our sessions.
Another strategy is mindfulness, which teaches you to observe your thoughts without judgment and bring your focus back to the present moment. This practice can prevent you from getting caught up in negative thought patterns.
Developing a robust and healthy support system can also provide encouragement and a different perspective, helping you challenge negative beliefs. When engaging in activities that promote a sense of accomplishment and joy, your mind shifts away from self-defeating thoughts.
Finally, learning to forgive yourself is a powerful step in letting go of the past and moving towards a future where you can find yourself again. You may ask, "Why do I need to forgive myself." Well…If you are anything like me or any of my other clients, you will realize that you allowed others to mistreat you and that you mistreated yourself by allowing mistreatment. Yes, some are out of our control, but let's be brutally honest with ourselves. Have you ever told yourself it is okay and maybe you deserved it?
Steps 3: Rediscovering Your Authentic Self and Step 4: Building Strong and Healthy Relationships will be released soon.
If you or someone you know is ready to find yourself again, visit my webpage. www.krystaljae.com to find helpful resources. Feel free to DM me on social media for personalized help.
IG, FB, TT: @thempowermentgoddess
FB: @krystaljae21
Keywords: finding me, who am i, healing after divorce, narcissitic relationship, Fear of Love, Who Am I, Self-love, Emotional Fulfillment, Empowerment, Loving Again, Self-discovery, Life Coach, Healthy Relationships, Overcoming Fear
Comments